Life has not always been easy, and as it goes on there are days, days that I breakdown, days that I feel just as much pain as I did years ago. Iv always wanted a huge family, a family that was picture perfect but that’s not my reality and theres some things that will always be challenging. It’s hard, hard to grow up, hard to be in your twenties and have people that love you but hard to figure out life on your own, hard to figure out life without your parents in the picture. It’s hard, hard to wish those people were apart of your life, hard to want them to be so badly but to know that if they were there would be so much more heartbreak then there already is. To my family there are days that I miss you more then you can ever imagine, days that I miss the good things but days that I’m also fearful, fearful of all the bad things. This is gods plan and I will forever carry the pain of my past but I am thankful for the people I do have that love me and support me. Thankful for my Kathy…my Jenna…my Julie…my church family…thankful for all the love that they have showed me, for heartaches that we have shared together, for being able to push forward, thank you all for all your love through everything. To my church family and my friends I thank you for opening your arms and being such crucial important parts to my heart. I love you always.
To the man that God has chosen for me, one day when I’m ready to meet you God will lead me there. What I need you to know is that my heart is fragile, so please don’t break it. I have waited this long to meet you and have so much to tell you. Please be patient with me even if times get difficult. My life is like everyone else’s, I have made mistakes, iv cried, iv laughed, iv hurt, iv loved. Please support me in all that you can and promise that I’m yours forever, and keep that promise. Be an incredible father to our children, teach them love, teach them about God, and support them always. Help me raise them to be respectable and God driven. Promise me that no matter what happens you will never leave me and always promise to love me in the hardest times. Iv waited so long for you and can’t wait to meet you, I pray for you daily and will continue to do so!